


Friendships Can Heal A Broken Heart

by Kats02



Category: Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, M/M, Platonic Relationships, other characters not mentioned in tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 16:28:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11467326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kats02/pseuds/Kats02
Summary: Everything ended faster than expected, one hundred days of unavoidable stress and restless nights of practicing stages for the National Producers that, at the moment, were listening to the final result of the trainees’ hard work: their final ranks. It was a fateful night in which his heart would break in million of pieces, drowning him in deception and self-hatred.The phrase: 'You could have done better, you just had to try harder, practice more, be better', repeated itself again and again in his head, until it was craved in his brain and he couldn’t forget the oppressing feeling in his chest.The screen in front of the trainees shined brightly. Displaying the faces of the four persons that may or may not be the 11th member of Wanna One.He was not one of them.





	Friendships Can Heal A Broken Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I've really don't have much to say. I wrote this Fic a few days after the final episode of P101 (when I was still destroyed by the results) and I kind of forgot about it. But I saw it today and decided to publish it here, tbh I don't really know what I did.  
> My poor Alpaca did deserved better, but now the only thing I can do is trust Rhymer with my BNM boys.  
> Anyway... Thanks for taking the time to read it.

 

#  **Friendships can heal a broken heart**

* * *

 

_Everything ended faster than expected, one hundred days of unavoidable stress and restless nights of practicing stages for the National Producers that, at the moment, were listening to the final result of the trainees’ hard work: **their final ranks**. It was a fateful night in which his heart would break in million of pieces, drowning him in deception and self-hatred. _

_The phrase: '_ You could have done better, you just had to try harder, practice more, be better' _, repeated itself again and again in his head, until it was craved in his brain and he couldn’t forget the oppressing feeling in his chest._

_The screen in front of the trainees shined brightly. Displaying the faces of the four persons that may or may not be the 11th member of Wanna One._

_He was not one of them._

 

###  **< JUNG SEWOON> **

His heart ached, he has lost the program, the opportunity he worked so hard for… maybe that wasn’t enough, maybe _he_ _wasn’t enough_. Defeated, he looked at his right side, eyeing Haknyeon’s reaction and making eye contact in the process. Haknyeon reached for him, giving him a fast hug and holding his hand for a little while after it and finally returning to his position. He let out a sigh and waited what seemed like an eternity for the 14th and 13th places to be announced, letting his jaw drop each time and plastering a smile in his face immediately after that so he could go and give some kind of comfort to the eliminated person. Jonghyun and Dongho respectively. He spectated at least one of them to made it. _What had happened?_ He didn’t even have enough time to be shocked when the 11th place was reveled.

“Ardor and Able’s Ha Sungwoon”. He heard BoA announce.

Surprise invaded his body and momentary happiness flooded from him while waiting for the opportunity of embracing Sungwoon for a brief moment before seeing him run towards the other ten trainees that will debut. The happiness disappeared after that. A knot formed itself in the pit of Youngmin’s stomach, tears started to prick in his eyes and his body trembled slightly from the cold that traveled thru his body. He found Sewoon in a sea of hugs and reassuring words. _12th place… so close yet so far away_.

Soon He was hugging Sewoon as if his life depended of it, feeling how the younger clung to him with shaky hands. A tear made his way out so he started to blink them away. He shouldn’t cry, not yet. Even though keeping everything inside hurt more, he must show his excitement for the winners. He let Sewoon go, caring fingers messing his hair and a reassuring smile in his face.

“It’s fine, Sewoonie. We’ll have another opportunity.”. He whispered to the younger, receiving a nod as an answer.

Sungwoon gave his speech, and walked to his seat and then BoA resumed the show after he finished his emotional encounter with the rest of the Top11 and took seat. As always BoA asked Sewoon how he felt about not making it in the cut. A harsh question scripted to happen, as He responded to the question, everyones hearts hurt. He wasn’t an exception. Sewoon was one of his closest friends in the show, so he felt unable to stop making sulking faces, even when the camera was on him, he just couldn’t hide his discomfort with the situation, it was imposible to change the final results. It had ended, all of this would be over, but the scar would stay, marking him.

He didn’t know when it happened, but Sewoon was by his side, reaching to grab his hand and give him support, occasionally patting his back and letting his hand rest there. This was not it. He should be the one comforting Sewoon not the other way around. Nevertheless, he just couldn’t bring himself to stop him, right now he craved someone to lend on and Sewoon’s hand in the small of his back made him feel almost at ease. Clumsily, he imitated his friends movements to make the other felt better. It seemed to work.

“Youngminie- _hyung_ , we’ll be alright, everything is gonna be OK. I promise.”. Sewoon whispered in his ear, ticking him a little and making his body relax a bit more. He kept whispering sweet nothings, silly comments about nothing in particular, it was obvious the younger was trying to distract himself and Youngmin couldn’t be more grateful about it. The knot in his stomach was still there along with the need to cry his heart out but the trembling had stopped. Turning his head to look at his friend, He showed a watery smile.

“Thanks Sewoonie”

Sewoon just smiled and secured his grip in Youngmin’s back.

 

###  ** <. . .>**

  
It was over before he expected, so he stayed frozen in place while everyone was congratulating and cheering each other up. He saw Seonho approach him slowly, giving him a hug that no other but Seonho could give in a moment like this, full of love and understanding, patting his back and then letting his hands place itselfs in his shoulders. A small smile was plastered across his face.

“We did well,Right _Hyung_?”. Seonho asked. So he gave the only possible answer, smiling brightly to the kid and nodding.

“Of course Seonho _-ah_ , let’s keep doing our best”

The fans cheered while slowly, Youngmin and the other trainees walked to the small stage in front of the eleven seats to congratulate each other, bowing along the way. Jonghyun’s back was just in front of him when Youngmin decided to give him strength by back-hugging him. Jonghyun didn’t even seem startled and just smiled. He let go of the hold and kept bowing while waiting for Sewoon, so both could stay together a little bit longer before parting ways. Youngmin missed Sewoon’s presence immediately, despite that, he continued looking for his friends, hugging and congratulating them with his all, taking a special long time with Woojin and Daehwi, giving them kisses in their foreheads and squeezing their cheeks between his hands just to embrace them again against his chest, staring at their shiny eyes and slight blushes while telling them how amazing their were and how much they deserved their places. They somehow seemed smaller, holding tightly onto his body like little kids would do. They weren’t kids anymore and he knew it, but a part of him wanted to keep them like that, take them home with him and Donghyun so they’ll never be hurt once again. He didn’t want to let them go but they were the _winners_ , they deserved to go forward, unlike him…

_He was extremely happy for them, right? He just couldn’t be upset, right? Because he wanted the best for them. For his family…_

' _I really wanted to be with them'_. He thought and as fast as the thought crossed his mind, he found himself at the very back of the stage, finally letting everything out.

The tears prickled his eyes, He had accumulated his self-harming thoughts long enough to break down and in the blink of an eye the warm tears he was fighting against were making their way down to his chin, unstoppable. His body trembled to the point of having to grab unto something to not collapse, and the second floor of the stage seemed like a good option to lean himself on. His chest felt tight, he could barely breath properly because of the aching cold that traveled across his body, making him shiver. His breathing became more and more irregular and loud as the time passed, so he put all his concentration in that, not noticing when he was surrounded with many of his friends: _Yonggeun, Taemin, Taewoo ,Park Sungwoo, Woo Jinyoung, Dongbin, Hyungbin, Hyunwoo and Hwanwoong_. All of them coming to reassure him that everything will be _OK_ , most of them staying for a long time and making sure that their beloved Alpaca was fine. Some of them, even tho being just as worried for him, had to leave to encounter another trainees. They saw him cry his heart out, rubbing his eyes to stop his tears in vain while trying to talk to them between breathless whimpers and sobs.

“But I’ve worked so hard”. He mumbled with a thick accent. Making it more difficult for his friends to understand. They felt powerless. The Hyung and Dongsaeng that was nothing but nice to everyone now was a mess of blabbering word and tears. Their hearts clenched at the sight. Eventually, they gave their last hug and left, hoping their Alpaca will be fine.

“Thank you, guys. _I'm sorry..._ ”. He whispered between broken sobs.

  

###  **< KIM YONGGUK > **

 

At some point Yongguk joined the circle of persons that surrounded his hyung’s crying figure, a little bit out of breath after going around the whole stage once and again in the search for his Youngmin-hyung, as well as his other closest friends and partners. When he found his hyung, his heart ached but a smile made his way up to his face. _It was good._ He was letting everything out. So he joined the small circle and waited for the opportunity to talk to him, holding tightly onto him afterwards. He didn’t want to let him alone...  but minutes later that was what Youngmin asked for. So Yongguk obeyed, taking a few steps back and awkwardly looking around and greeting other trainees that walked by. Not wanting to be to far away from him. After a few moments Yongguk resumed following Youngmin around under the curious gaze of the cameras, he didn’t mind them, all he cared about was his _hyung_.

At the end of the live broadcast, all the trainees bowed again. Yongguk stayed by his _hyung’_ s side, who was still sobbing uncontrollably.

Impressed by the dedication that the younger had in being by his side, made Youngmin feel something similar to relief. While the last bow event was still going he felt Yongguk’s embrace, warm and reassuring, and when he finally bowed to the crowd of fans, Yongguk’s hand was still in his back, telling him that he was there. Youngmin couldn’t bring himself up. So his friend had to help him to stand straight, rubbing small circles in the small of his back. He thought he had to thank him later even thought he wanted to do it in that moment. He just _couldn’t_. His teary eyes and throbbing head stoped him from doing it, so he started to walk away from his friend, to the back of the stage once again .

Yongguk immediately noticed and followed him, trying to take care of his hyung just like he took care of him, when he had no friends and suddenly a baby-faced Youngmin approached him with a smile brighter that the sun and as warm as the hugs, Yongguk later discovered, he gives. Easily, Youngmin became his sun, someone precious and dependable, on the other hand, He didn't know what he was to the older one, a friend? Brother? Son? Something deeper? The only thing Yongguk was sure of in that moment was that _the Youngmin_  in front of him at that moment, looked _fragile_ and in the need for support.

He wanted to be the one who was able to do so. 

###  **  
<KIM DONGHYUN> **

  
After greeting his friends, all Donghyun could think of was Youngmin. Somehow, he hadn’t see him and worry started to eat him from inside while looking for him. It wasn’t until the last bow event was over that he saw him at the back, walking away from Yongguk, who still followed after him. His heart was beating furiously in his chest, trying to escape and reach the crying figure of his _hyung_ and before he could think about it, his legs started to move, getting him closer to his _hyung_. With open arms, Donghyun received Youngmin, embracing him in the most affectionate way the younger could. Because _he could feel his hyung’s pain_ , he really did and the last two weeks without him had been some kind of cruel torture, feeling completely alone in their apartment, till the point he missed Daehwi sleep-talking, Woojin playfulness that always ended in bickering and, of course, Youngmin’s smile and laugh. Even if he himself was know for being a chatter box, it was utterly impossible for him to fill the place of four person in the dorm.

Youngmin hadn’t noticed how much he missed the younger until that moment, when one of Donghyun’s hands was in his back and the other on the back of his neck, keeping him in place, allowing him to cry in his shoulder. All the laughter, whining and screaming in the air made him overwhelmed, and the tears came up even more easily than before. He felt when the younger took his hand off his back and neck to squish his face with both, somehow making him feel more stable.

“ _Hyung..._ You did so well, I’m really proud of you. So don’t cry anymore. _You are amazing_.” He said with a soft voice, not wanting to startled Youngmin, like he was a kid, small and fragile, in the need of protection. He smiled when the older nodded along, indicating he was listening. Donghyun felt his chest oppressing. Suddenly he wanted to cry too, but he needed to be strong, for his _hyung’_ s sake, having two crying babies will do no good. So he held his tears back, while holding Youngmin close to himself once again, wanting really badly to make him feel better. He just couldn’t stand seeing him like that, so small and _broken_.

Youngmin found himself being engulfed again in one of Donghyun’s bear hugs, he hugged back, not wanting it to end, he could stay like that forever, with his heart beating frantically in his chest and tears staining his face, he didn’t mind it if he could keep the warm and security that Donghyun’s arms around his body gave him. So Youngmin breathed in, smelling his bestfriend’s cologne, it smelled like freshly watered soil, mellow and earthy. It reminded him a little bit of _home_ and his parent’s farm, back in Busan, inviting and welcoming. The younger didn’t seem to mind, so he kept doing it, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. Donghyun just talked, whispering melodically sweet words in his ear. Once again, Donghyun slow and carefully broke the hug they were in, staring into Youngmin’s puffy red eyes that looked darker than usual. The older stared back awkwardly, not knowing what the younger was thinking about, not wanting to know is the other considered him _weak_. Donghyun’s eyes shined brighter than ever, full of affection and definetly not judging at all, a solitary tear slipped from one of his eyes and Youngmin immediately brush it off carefully with his thumb, noticing his friends soft and slightly blushed cheeks. He was unable to move, and put his hand back to the Younger’s shoulder, without knowing what to do.

Donghyun lost himself quite a bit. Youngmin’s face looked somewhat more innocent than normal, his puffy and watery red eyes seemed bigger than normal, his nose and cheeks were a cute rosy color and his mouth was constantly in an adorable pout, he simply resembled a young _alpaca_ not looking at all like his real age. The feelings of protection Donghyun had developed for his younger ones suddenly were poured completely in Youngmin along with other feelings he had harbored only for the older one, making his stomach a mess of sensations: the tingly and bubbly sensation of butterflies and continuous summersaults mixed with aching stings and heaviness. Maybe Donghyun was getting sick and was about to puke, but he really didn’t care, not when Youngmin was _so close_ and he could felt the older burying himself in his neck.

“Don’t worry anymore, _hyung_. You’re not lacking at all... From now on, let’s do our best to debut together”. Youngmin smiled, lips trembling.

“Yeah, Donghyunie. Let’s do our best”. Donghyun felt himself smile dumbly, getting closer to his hyung, maybe way too close to be considered just friendly. Embracing him for the last time in the next hour.

“ _I love you_ ”. Donghyun whispered sweetly. Separating himself from Youngmin afterwards, who looked a little surprised with his round alpaca eyes.

He couldn’t stop himself, a big and honest smile spread across his face and his eyes softened when he whispered back. “ _I love you too_ , Donghyunie”.

 

###  **<. . . >**

He let go of Donghyun just minutes later, so the younger could comfort Sewoon, who started to ball his eyes out just after the broadcast ended, he didn’t have the heart to accompany him, not when he was a mess on his own. When he turned around, he saw Yongguk standing a couple of meters away, looking at him with a small smile and broken eyes, but before he could walk to him, Yongguk was dragged away by other trainee, leaving Youngmin completely alone and kind of concerned. He found himself wandering on the stage until Yongbin dragged the younger along, taking his hand and guiding him out of the stage while talking about whatever he could think of, trying to cheer Youngmin up even if it was just for a brief moment. The screams and cheers from the crowd of fans were overwhelming.

When they entered backstage, Youngmin thanked his _hyung_ , bowing politely before walking away to his dresser room with the rest of the Top20 and as soon as he entered, Jaewhan received him with a bear hug, telling him how it was a shame they didn’t get to debut together. Youngmin tried to smile, feeling emotionally drained and failing in his attempt. Jaehwan laughed, making the mood lighter in the room.

“Jaehwanie… _Stop_ please, my head hurts”. He spoke softly, head pounding.

Jaehwan cooed, caressing Youngmin’s shoulders with more strength than necessary and then letting his hands fall to hold hands with his _hyung_ , interlocking fingers and slowing taking him to a seat. Both sat down with little to no space between them, hand hold firm. They started a small talk, wanting to avoid sensitive topics for at least 5 minutes. They ended up taking about that anyway, Youngmin falling silent at some moments and Jaehwan talking enough for the two. The older felt himself relaxing while holding unto the younger’s hand for dear life, until the camera came to interview the vocalist.

With a last hug and a promise to contact each other often and take care of ‘ _his kids_ ’ in his place, Youngmin walked away and got himself changed into a fresh change of clothes. Sewoon was just there, face stained and light sobs, So he couldn’t stop himself from embracing him for a while. He didn’t notice when Daehwi and Woojin entered or left the dressing room, probably because they went away for their interviews and when he finally left the room, he was surprised to found Donghyun waiting for him outside of the room with his most foolish smile plastered on his face.

“We were waiting for you, Youngminie- _hyung_ … _Let’s go home_ ”. With a small smile, Youngmin took Donghyun’s hand, both walking thru the corridors of the building to get to the parked van, where Daehwi and Woojin were already sound asleep, legs tangled together and snoring loudly due to a bad position. They took seat and Rhymer congratulated them for their hard work, telling them he was _proud_ , smiling brightly and eyes a little puffy.

Feeling finally at ease, Youngmin let the sleep take over him, getting in a more comfortable position with Donghyun and no letting his hand go…

 

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't thinking in adding anything even remotely romantic, so if something seems like that, I have no excuses.


End file.
